top of page

New Shoes, New Love


Anyone who knows me well can attest to my love of shoes. Everything from the highest stiletto to a chunky, platform tennis shoe adorns the shelves of my closet. My favorite scene of the original Sex and the City movie was when Carrie saw the closet Big had built for her in their newly purchased penthouse apartment. She carefully removed a pair of blue satin Monolo Blahnik’s with a square, crystal buckle and gently placed them on the shelf of the new closet. I get it. I too would rather have the shoes, and the gorgeous space to house them, than a diamond ring.

So when a man recently asked me how anyone could fill my late husband’s shoes I didn’t hesitate. 

“Nobody will every be able to fill his shoes. What I’m looking for is a new pair of shoes that will sit next to his.”

Have you ever had that pair of shoes that make you feel amazing every time you put them on? Over the years they may wear, go out of style or possibly they don't fit anymore. You may search for a pair to replace them, but nothing ever feels quite like your original shoes. Just when you’re about to give up, you find new ones that are different, but amazing in their own right. They aren’t like the shoes you loved before and that’s ok because they fit who you are now. So you buy them, take them home and put them on the shelf next to the old shoes…not a replacement…an addition.

My late husband’s "shoes" were generous, kind, funny and irritating as hell sometimes. He left sweet little sticky notes for me to find during the day. He brought me flowers for no reason. He never told me no, even when he should have. He had an annoying love of all sports. He was obsessed with things looking neat, even if they didn’t make sense. He avoided confrontation at all cost. He was proud of me and told me how smart I was all the time. He was an over thinker. He called me "Sweetheart". He told me he loved me every single day.

As lovely as his “shoes” were, I can’t imagine that there would ever be an exact replica. So instead I look for a pair that will compliment this life I’ve built. It is less demanding, a little less fancy and a lot slower. My new “shoes” will feel comfortable from the start. They will have all the right features for this new existence. Most importantly they won’t need their own shelf, they will be content to sit next to Mark’s “shoes” without trying to be them.

That is how I look at the potential for new love. When we are lucky enough to find each other, he will see himself as a compliment to the love I already have. Love is infinite and the new can share space with the existing. Neither of those diminishes the other. He will be a welcome addition, not a replacement.


Featured Posts
Recent Posts
Search By Tags
Follow Us
  • Facebook Basic Square
  • Twitter Basic Square
  • Google+ Basic Square
bottom of page